Portal 2 Lessons in Perpetual Testing

A few weeks ago Valve announced the Portal 2 Perpetual Testing Initiative and ever since the Initiative launched I've been neck deep in figuring out new and unique ways to kill my friends. That is, of course, what Portal 2 is all about. I actually now realize how Wheatley feels (spoilers?) as I build my very own test chambers and then send my friends to their certain peril while I look on and chuckle manically at their deaths or praise them for their successes.

The trick to building test chambers can sometimes get lost in the journey. It's all about simplicity. I've found that some of my chambers, while clever, unique, and challenging, are much too complex for people to grasp. A problem that one wouldn't often think about while building the chamber. The solution always seems obvious to the one who designed it. The challenge is making it complex enough that the solution isn't obvious at first but becomes clearer as the subject learns your chamber. You're aiming to reward your test subjects with the 'Ah! HA!' moments. When suddenly everything clicks together and they just get it. Sometimes death is a very good method of encouragement. I really like it, but as my friends have told me my chambers are vicious and unforgiving, so maybe I enjoy killing them a little too much. I also like to force subjects into uncomfortable situations. The feeling of knowing that there's turrets aiming at you and no way to get at them can make for some interestingly tense moments.

So if you're interested in a challenge, and are more than comfortable getting stranded, gunned down by turrets, and flung into deadly goo by all means check out the Foundry. I built it, so you know it's going to be tough. 

Here's a teaser I put together so you can get an idea of what you'll be getting yourself into.

RNG Achievements. A rant

Achievements for me are a love hate thing. I love them because it's a fun way to know how much of a game I've finished. I hate them because it's a terrible way to remind me how much of a game I haven't finished. Thanks Xbox for eternally changing (ruining?) the way people play games.

Why do I bring this up? And what's the significance of RNGs here? Well it's taken me quite some time to get around to it, but I've finally queued up Borderlands in my wait for my next Guild Wars 2 hit (tip of the hat to Ravious over at Killtenrats for helping me realize I'm a GW2 drug addict), and generally Borderlands is 100% superfun. I grew up on Diablo so dungeon grinding and loot whoring is familiar territory for me. Also I sure do love me some good ol fashioned FPS frag fests. Borderlands delivers on that end, completely. So combined all that together and you've got yourself a recipe for one awesome game, and it is awesome. The killing, murdering, exploding, hilarious vulgar humor, and spectacularly great gun design.

But then they just had to go in and add totally retarded achievements. I've probably killed the entire Claptrap population twenty times over and I have yet to get all my goldfish, or panties, or pizza, or oil cans, or .... whatever. Heck I'm certain I've made the Hyperion corporation mine out an entire sector of space to build, and rebuild, all the Claptraps I've blown to bits over my search for stupid robot fish. The worst part is that even after you've collected all your pointless 3D glasses they continue to drop. It's like the Claptraps, even in their death, continue to taunt me, "Look, here's some more 3D glasses! Too bad what you really need is our panties!" The worst part is, naturally, that there's no Achievement tracker. I don't even know, for certain, if I've already collected all the panties I need and since they keep dropping I keep picking them up because maybe with the next one I'll finally ding the achievement over and be done with this torment in RNG robot hell.

Oh yeah, on a final note, I hate you stupid robots in Portal 2. Why can't you be better at rock-paper-scissors. I swear from now on I'm sticking to fantasy titles. It's obvious robots aren't good for my health.